Christmas week in Review.

I baked a lot this week. Guess how many pounds of butter I used this week in my holiday baking.

Give up?

Nine pounds. Yes nine. I think I used 15 pounds of sugar as well.

We had the Lubbers Family Christmas party a little early this year, it was on the Monday before Christmas instead of the actual holiday. My aunt sang O Holy Night, it the highlight of the whole evening.

Christmas Eve Eve was great. My husband went to a neighbor's house to fix her door and to show her gratitude she gave my husband a DVD. The real kicker is that it was a movie she rented at redbox the day before so when she gave it to him she said it just had be returned by 9pm that night. Not only did he fix her door, but we were able to return her movie as well. I've never met this neighbor but she has a sign in her yard that says "Hippies Stop Here".

I lost my cell phone this week. I kept thinking it would turn up, but it never has. I ordered a new phone today from Verizon, I really wanted to get myself something nifty, but decided I didn't deserve it because I lost the first one.

Christmas Eve...can anyone say Prime Rib? Katie really cooked up a great piece of meat and I had prime rib and horseradish dreams, way better than visions of sugar plums if you ask me. And Shannon, I really do want that Fudge recipe. I made sure I was the first one out of bed Christmas morning so I could eat the last few pieces you were kind enough to send me home with.

My mom gave in to my begging and slept at our house Christmas Eve. After sleeping in until 9, we got up opened presents and then had Belgian Waffles for breakfast. Then we were Tooele Bound. (Ryan forgot his phone, mine is lost, and my mom's won't hold a charge.) As we walked through the door at Ry's bros house, they were walking out the door to go to his in-laws. If we wanted to see them, then we had to go there too. My mom was a real super trooper and held her own in grunt at my in-law's in-law's house. Then my mom and I headed back to SLC to buy movie tickets and save seats while Ry and his little brother went to visit one of their BFF's.

Then the storm hit.

That's when I realized how attached I am to my phone. I couldn't call the guys and tell them to bag the movie because the storm was here and we should probably just go home. Anyhoo, they arrived safely and we watched Yes Man then journeyed home. We only saw one slide off on our way home.

That's it. I didn't take any pictures.

I also made a turkey for the heck of it.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

I apologize.

Sorry about the week of going private and not notifying anyone. It was totally lame of me. I have a million excuses but none that matter. I will resume blogging as usual.

Breaking Bad Habits

I have a really bad habit.

No, I'm not talking about biting my nails. But, yes I still do that.

I'm talking about buying Christmas presents for people then returning them because I second guess myself or think of something better or something else catches my eye. I have done this every single year. I'll even take the wrapped present out from under the tree, unwrap it, and re-wrap the new gift.

This year will be different. I'm all done shopping. Yes, finished. And I'm going to be shipping everything off this weekend (if time allows, I'll also be making my gingerbread house on Saturday and as many of you know, those take all.day.long.)

I just lied, I'm not all done shopping, I still need to come up with an idea for my mom. I've always had the easiest time picking something out for her, I don't know why this year is so different. Maybe it's because she's living in Utah now and I want to get her something really special to let her know how happy it makes me to have her around.

At least I have plenty of time to find something. And if I buy something then find something I like better, I can always return the first gift.

Black Friday

A word of advice.

If you've been researching Black Friday ads all week and know exactly what you want and where you need to go, don't wait until the store has been open for two hours then show up expecting to get what you wanted.

Not that I would be so stupid as to do this, I'm just saying.

Companies that Suck

Iggy'S Sports Grill. I won't go into details, just know that I will never step foot in this establishment ever again.

What companies have upset you to the point of no return?

Seriously Cramping My Style

Hotmail made some changes and now my crappola computer at work doesn't work correctly for me. I can read emails but I can't respond. My computer is from Jurassic Park.

I'm also interested in stroller reviews. What do you like, what do you not like? I don't know how I ever thought I would be ready for motherhood when I can't even decide on a stroller.

Answers

#1 Elf ~ If you ask me, this is Will Farrell's best movie. Just behind Elf is Kicking and Screaming. The Rose's and I saw this at the dollar theatres and ho ho ha, it was a good one.


#2 Pride and Prejudice ~ Just love it. And I think you're right, Shannon. We did watch this late one evening, there was probably treats involved.


#3 Christmas Vacation ~ I can't get enough of Cousin Eddie. I watched this movie twice.


#4 Love Actually ~ I can't suggest that anyone see this movie. It's rated R and it is very inappropriate. I fast forward a lot of scenes and I still need to repent.


#5 The Family Man ~ If you haven't seen it, rent it. You can thank me later. The scene in the airport at the end will most definitely pull on your heart strings. I watched this one twice.


I put up my Christmas decorations this weekend. Thanksgiving is far too late in the month of November this year to have to wait until it's over. I've been listening to Jewel's Christmas album for weeks. Yes Diana, I thought of Kerry singing as we decorated our tree in HB. I just love love love Christmas. I also can't wait to do my holiday baking, mmmm mint brownies.

Yesterday was Ryan's birthday. His is such a lame-o about his birthday. He doesn't want to celebrate it. We had hot dog casserole (yes that was his choice and yes it's as disgusting as it sounds) and I made him a red velvet cake. At least he requested a delicious birthday cake, it was heaven on a plate. I resisted having a piece while I watched The Biggest Loser.

I would call Diana as the winner, she knew most of the movies and she knew I watched Christmas Vacation twice. Email me your address and I'll get you a prize in the snail mail.

Last UTA for 10 weeks.

That was the text message I received from Ryan on his way home from guard this weekend.

UTA=guard weekend=me being unproductive for 2 days. Yeah, yeah, I did laundry, cleaned the floors, cleaned the kitchen, went grocery shopping, cleaned the bathrooms, made my sister a Family Home Evening Board, but really I did nothing productive.

I did, however, watch 5 movies this weekend. Two of which I watched two times. Plus I went with my mom to see Quantum of Solace. That equals 8 movies. I'm not going to tell you which movies I watched or which movies I watched twice. I want you to guess from a quote from each movie.

Movie #1
"It's just nice to meet another human that shares my affinity for elf culture."

Movie #2
"You have bewitched me body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on."

Movie #3
"I don't know if I oughta go sailin' down no hill with nothin' between the ground and my brains but a piece of government plastic."

Movie #4
"This isn't a bag sir. This is so much more than a bag."

Movie #5, and one of my all-time favorites...
"The fidelity bank and trust is a tough creditor. You make a deposit somewhere else, they close your account...FOREVER!"

Now name the movies and which ones I watched twice and you might get a surprise from me in the mail.

Oh Crap!

I just spent the last 5 hours working on a project about securing customer information. I was about to send it to NADA (National Autombile Dealers Asscoiation) for approval when it struck me it's on the wrong topic. It's supposed to be a program about Identity Theft.

I must not have forgotten my brain today.

At least I caught my mistake before NADA.

I'm going home.

If you haven't already done so...

head over here and leave a comment with your prediction of where my little brother Scott will be called to serve his mission! Liz has offered a prize to the winner.

If it was Gus gus, maybe I wouldn't mind so much.

My husband hates blogging, he never reads the blog but somehow he always knows what I post. {I may end up going private on the blog, I think the husband may feel more comfortable with that.} Sometimes I get in trouble with him and have to delete what I've written, which is the case for yesterday's post. Let me clarify, that post was in no way meant to be "drama". The incident didn't even affect me, I was merely saying that when faced with fear we all might surprise ourselves. Unless Obama is elected, then we have every right to be afraid.

Now onto more important matters.

I have a mystery rodent in my office.

Every night for the last 2 weeks garbage, some kind of food wrapper usually, has been removed from one of the 3 trash cans in my office and is left by the door to my office. For a while, I thought it was the 86 year old man I work with that forgot where his trash can was. Then garbage from the other cans were being involved.

I set traps, lots of them, and lots of different types. I would make sure all the trash cans are empty so the thing would go for the bait instead of the more appealing trash. Guess what happened? One of the glue traps was pulled away from the wall and left by my office door. I think it may be an R.O.U.S.

Two days went by and I still hadn't caught anything.

Last night I thought I would leave food in one trash can with a glue trap on top of it. It wasn't touched.

I don't know what to do. I don't want to share my workspace with a rodent.



Now, isn't the attempted break-in story so much more entertaining?

I Voted

Yesterday I went to the library to return an overdue library book and there was no parking spots available in the lot due to early voting. I parked on the street and was way too close to the truck ahead of me, if I would've tried backing up I would've rolled forward and rammed him. I don't have the leave the e-brake on while you release the clutch to avoid rolling forward on a hill skill. I decided that I would go wait in line to vote and by the time I got out hopefully that truck would be gone. I waited in line for 45 minutes and listened to people moan and groan about standing in line. I don't know what came over me, but I said quite loudly "At least we have the right to vote. The line will be even longer on Tuesday. And if that doesn't help, just pretend you're at DISNEYLAND!"

I guess not everyone loves Mickey Mouse as much as I do, I got a lot of angry stares.

Then a man was on the phone and he was telling someone which exit to take to get to the library to vote and he gave the wrong exit, so I told him, loudly, "It's exit 334. Sorry, I was eavesdropping. No, not eavesdropping, but you are on the phone and it's impossible not to hear you."

I was hoping someone would throw a bucket of water on me and I would disappear like the Wicked Witch of the West I was channeling. I wanted to disappear into nothingness and not be the crazy lady in line who just yelled at everyone, then told some stranger he doesn't know his directions, but I didn't. I stood my ground, cast my ballot, and went home and had an apple.

Hey, at least the truck was gone when I got back out to my car.

The first of many.

The Utah Jazz had their season opener last night. I have a few comments and observations.

First and foremost, I missed Deron Williams. He's my favorite player on the team (since Stockton) and it's not the same without him. But, Ronnie Price did very well in his absence.

Second, Okur looked good. He worked out hard over the summer and it showed.

Third, Boozer is still unpredictable. He played well during the first half, and missed an important free throw down the stretch.

Fourth, I was glad to see Kyle Korver cut his hair. He was looking like he belonged in HSM3 next to Zac Efron. I'm so happy to have such a sharp shooter on the Jazz. He did catch a break on that missed free throw when Anderson had a lane violation in the last minute of the game.

Ryan and I saw Larry H. Miller on Saturday (he wears the same jumpsuit as RyRy in the temple). I wanted to discuss why only 13 of the 80ish games are on regular tv, not everyone has cable. But, I thought I'd let him alone.

Finally, I just have to rant about the Biggest Loser for a moment. I really don't like Vicki, Brady, or Heba. They are cheaters and they are mean.

I'm sure no one is really interested in this post, maybe Bob will have a comment.

For Liz

I think we all owe Liz a big apology for so much ridicule over her wanting to name her baby Homer. According to this list of baby names, it's hip. I see a lot names on here that we're considering for our little feller. It's a good list of names.

Overheard at the gym.

I was on the treadmill and the Airman (I work out on Hill Air Force Base) next to me was having the following conversation with his buddy:
"Dude, I want to go home to Nebraska so bad."
"Why? It will be cold in Nebraska, dude."
"Because I'm craving seafood and you can't get good seafood anywhere but there."
"Where do you go to get it?"
"Long Long Silver's. It's waaaay better than Red Lobster."
"Maybe we should take a roadtrip. I would love some good halibut."

Hot Chocolate

First off, I had a great post written but I thought I should ask Ryan for his consent since he was the main topic and I was denied, so this is a filler post. And that's really too bad, it was a good story.

I know everyone already knows about The Pioneer Woman. My sister was reading her way before she got "popular" and now she won't read anymore about PW because it's gotten too cool.

Yesterday PW posted a recipe for homemade chocolate milk mix. Well, I know about something that PW doesn't. It's a little gadget called the Cocomotion. {Maybe she does know about it, but that's not the point.}

If you make the chocolate milk mix like she instructs, then use it in the Cocomotion you have hot chocolate that tastes like Starbucks. My husband doesn't like Starbucks hot chocolate because it's semi-sweet, but I love it. Maybe if I'm feeling nice I'll make him some of the chocolate milk mix using milk chocolate, but probably not.

My favorite thing about being pregnant is feeling the little guy move. It's awesome. I love being pregnantEXCLAMATION POINT times three.

Q&A with Sara.

Q: Your face is looking fatter. Are you pregnant?
A: Yes

Q: When are you due?
A: March 18, 2009.

Q: Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?
A: Yes, it's a boy.

Q: Do you have any names?
A: We're thinking Jabba jabbajabba Jabba Garff.

Q: Have you been sick?
A: NO. I haven't been sick.at.all. I'm very lucky.

Q: Have you had a lot of cravings?
A: No.

Any more questions?

Enjoy this picture of my husband and his sis on her 38th birthday at The Old Spaghetti Factory.


We're very excited. Very excited.

The best $60 I've ever spent.

If you live in Utah (or Iowa) or anywhere cold in the winter, and you have a really old house with zero insulation and you have single pane windows that you can feel the cold air blowing through at night, I have a suggestion.

Flannel sheets.

I bought some flannel sheets on Monday and they have been absolutely heaven. There's no cold spot in the bed and my husband doesn't have to rub his big old cold feet all over me trying to warm them up because they're already warm. Plus, you don't have that cold shock of getting into bed which feels like your bed is actually an ice skating rink. PLUS, they come in white. So I can still have that all white bed that makes me so happy.

Flannel sheets, I love you.

Where are you from?

I love hearing different accents. Whether it's a NY accent or a Scottish accent I get all tingly.

"Someone" at work today told me I have a Utah accent. I am aware of the accent being in existence, but I didn't think I had it.

Ramblings.

Ryan and I were out of town for the weekend, we drove his grandma down to her home in Arizona for the winter and didn't get home until Tuesday night. My apologies to everyone who called me and I didn't call back. I'm also heart broken I missed the Halloween Party at Mont's. I didn't remember my cell phone charger and my phone was deader than a doornail. Perhaps I'll post some pictures tonight of our day trip to Vally of Fire.

On our way home, we stopped at my mom's place and she made the most delicious dinner. Ryan enjoyed the left overs for lunch and dinner yesterday. She also made cookies, I wasn't in the mood for cookies that night, but let me tell you, I have eaten more than my fair share since then...craisin, white chocolate, and coconut.

When we leave town we turn our water heater to it's vacation setting and forgot to turn in back on the night we got home. Needless to say, my shower was freezing yesterday morning. I considered not telling Ryan about my cold shower so he would have to suffer as well. But then I thought "What would Jesus do?", and I changed my mind. I had a nice hot shower this morning, he still hasn't showered.

I was so sad becuase I thought I missed The Biggest Loser on Tuesday but as I got to the gym last night I was delighted to see it was on Wed night b/c of the debates.

Speaking of the debates...nevermind.

Blogging is funny.

Some Joe Schmoe, like myself, writes what they've been thinking about lately and for some reason people want to read it. My blog is particularly boring. I have no kids to brag about, I'm not a good writer, I don't talk about politics, I don't do anything exciting, yet people keep coming back.

What I really enjoy is reading the comments. The fact that something I write would invoke a thought in your mind and you would take the time to reply. Thanks for that. I especially like it when I write something a little bit off color and I get anonymous comments from people who want to say something mean but they're too chicken to say who they are. I appreciate any comment, I do. So please, keep them coming, even if they are anonymous.

And yes, I am superficial. Nothing matters to me but appearances. I do drive a 1991 Honda Civic with well over 200,000 miles on it, after all. And I do live in a very ritzy neighborhood in Clearfield, UT. Oh, and I spend every other weekend going very exotic places, like Payson, UT to spend the weekend with my husband's grandmother. My husband only takes me out to eat at the fanciest restaurants, just 3 weeks ago he took me to Home Town Buffet, and that was the last time we have eaten out.

If you were to look up superficial in the dictionary, I believe you would find a picture of me.

Attention All Men

Dear Men around the world,

Thank you for all you do. I know this world needs you. But there's something I need to ask of you. It's a very simple request. The request is as follows, please wear a shirt, even if it's hot. I'm sorry, but I don't enjoy seeing you driving in your car, mowing your lawn or doing any other type of yard work, washing your car, walking down the street, perusing the energy drink aisle at the convenient store not wearing a shirt.

It's especially bothersome to me when you have a t-shirt tucked into your pants hanging out the back, like you wore it out of the house because your mother with whom you live {even though you're in your mid 30's} doesn't let you leave the house unless you're fully dressed but you shed that annoying piece of clothing as soon as you're out of her sight.

I know you've worked hard on that tan and your *muscles*, but please wear clothes.

I understand there are exceptions to the rules, but they are very small exceptions, swimming or any other type of water activity. I cannot think of another exception. If I'm wrong and have forgotten an exception to the rule, feel free to correct me.

Thank you for listening and keep that shirt on.

Sara

I need your creativity, I have none of my own.

My auntie KIM hosts a big Halloween Party every year complete with Chilli, brain jello, pinatas, decorations that Martha Stewart would envy, and costumes, costumes, costumes. Liz and Bob always won the prize for best costume...there wasn't really a prize but I gave it to them in my head every year. Last year was the first year they lived out of state and couldn't attend. Let me back track, when Liz and Bob first got married none of the adults really dressed up, with the exception of my uncle Bill wearing a pumpkin on his head or Auntie wearing Billy Bob teeth. But really, no one dressed up. Okay back on track, now every year people come up with awesome ideas. Last year we had some Murray High cheerleaders, 80's prom queens, a scary vampire, a lady bug, Napolean and Deb just to name a few.

What are some of your favorite costumes you've seen, been, websites, etc.? Keep in mind that it's going to be really hard to convince Ryan to wear a costume, lame, I know.

Longing for Fall

I find myself day dreamning of cooler temperatures, fall colors in my house, sweatshirts, drives up the canyon to feast my eyes upon the gorgeousness of the leaves changing, Halloween, being able to make delicious soups and stews for dinner, but mostly, I long for the days that my armpits aren't sweating through my clothes.

Seriously.

I like to watch you eat it, it's my favorite part.

When I went on my first date with my future husband he ordered a burrito. I remember watching him eat it and thoroughly enjoying watching him eat. That hasn't stopped. There's a few things about the way he eats that make it so entertaining.

Number one is the size of his bites, they're HUGE.

Number two is that he doesn't switch hands with his fork and knife. When I eat with a fork and a knife, I use my right hand to cut my food with my knife, then put my knife down and switch my fork to my right hand to eat. I think most people do this. I know there's someone out there that's going to tell me that Americans do that, in Europe they don't switch hands. Well, we don't live in Europe nor has my husband ever been to Europe.

Number three is that he will eat one item at a time until it's gone. For example he'll eat all his vegetables, then the main course, then the salad, in that order.

Number four, he doesn't take a drink until he's done with his entire meal, then he'll drink a whole glass of water without taking a breath.

Number five is when he catches me watching him eat and asks me "what are you grinning at you ghost?"

I fall in love with him all over again every night over the dinner table.

Hidden Talents

I love discovering people's hidden talents.

Some people can sing beautifully.

Some people can play musical instruments.

Some people are born athletes.

Some people can remember anything they've read.

Some people can just plain dance, and that's something that can't be taught.

Me? you ask. Here, I'll demonstrate.


I can hold a piece of paper in the crease between my eyes.

A different angle. Well really the same angle.

I can fold my tongue in half.


Closer.


Now, I'm doing them both at the same time, that was actually pretty hard.

He's Gone...

Another guard weekend.


I need honest feedback on this. How many of you (all 7 of you) "blog stalk"? Read blogs of people you don't know. It's okay to admit it, you're among friends here. I do it.

Untitled and no picture

Today someone at work had some cookies. When she offered me one, she said "These are from Sweden and they're divine. Why don't you try one? By the way, your face is looking fatter. Did I mention those cookies are from Sweden?"

"I think I will have a cookie thank you very much. I've actually lost 6 pounds recently, and these cookies are from Ikea."

A great teacher and a wicked enema.

My husband loves to water ski, and he's pretty good at it. In an effort to expand my horizons, I decided to learn to water ski at the end of last summer. At the start of the water skiing season this year I was able to get up on a ski and cross the wake. I decided on our camping trip it was time to take it to the next level, it was time for me to learn how to cut.

My bro-in-law Chris is a great teacher, he's patient when he needs to be, yet dishing out tough love when needed as well. Like the time he told me "that grip's not going to *fudging* cut it."

Well, Chris gave me some instructions and guess what happened? I had my first real cut, it was awesome.

So in a shameless self-promotion, I'm posting two pictures of myself.


This picture is one of the first trips to the lake this year (I'm quite embarassed to post this picture, it's not very flattering).

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This photo is my honest to goodness cut. Thanks for the lessons Chris, I know you're reading this.

One piece of instruction that Chris gave me that I'll only forget once, "Don't pull the rope into your body when crossing the wake. Trust the boat." If you pull the rope in, the ski goes out from under you and no matter how hard you squeeze your cheeks, you're getting an enema, and it's going to feel like nothing you've ever experienced, ever. Note to self: Listen to Chris when he tells you to do something.

Sara Garff not Lee

I remember the first time I made dinner as a married woman. I thought to myself, "I have to do this every single day for the rest of my life." I typically really enjoy cooking, however, this week I'm feeling a little uninspired.

I thought I'd share my meal plan for the week with y'all.
Monday: BLT's no sides
Tuesday: BLT's with cottage cheese and mandarin oranges
Wednesday: BLT's with peaches and cottage cheese
Thursday: BLT's with apricots
Friday: BLT's and a milkshake, just kidding about the milkshake, but ever since I saw this having a milkshake is all I can think about. I'll have a diet coke.

I'm pretty sure all that bacon will kill me, kill me softly, kill me softly with it's love.

PostScript:For anyone interested, Kirstin was quoting Christmas Vacation.

Camping

It's fun, right? Sleeping outside, bacon and eggs in the morning, hot dogs over the campfire at night, smores, (I'll give you instructions for the perfect smore at the end of this post.)hiking, songs and memories being shared around the fire, water skiing in the a.m. and p.m. even if it is in a FREEZING.COLD.LAKE, and the stars in the sky...oh the stars.

Fun for everyone...except my sister-in-law Kirstin. She hates anything that takes her out of her comfort zone.

Kirstin spent the first two nights sleeping in the truck. She was in the shell of the truck on a lovely mattress, then on the last night decided she wanted to sleep in a tent. Paul set up a tent for her and after spending 20 minutes trying to convince her to "Just lay down!" he zipped up the tent and headed to bed. Two minutes passed. Then this is what we heard:
Kirstin: Where's my lotion? I can't find it.

two minutes of silence.

Kirstin: (a little more loudly)I can't sleep without my lotion.

two minutes of silence.

Kirstin: (louder and more angry)Is anyone out there looking for my lotion?

two minutes of silence.

Kirstin: (louder and more angry) Come on guys!! Where IS my lotion?!?!

five minutes of silence.

Kristin: (sweet as a peach) Never mind, found it. You can stop looking now.

five minutes of silence.

Kirstin: (loudly yelling) Okay, I'm done with the tent!

30 seconds of silence.

Kirstin: (yelling more loudly) I'm done with this tent! Hello? Get me outta here!

15 seconds of silence (except Ryan and Chris laughing)

Kirstin: (I'm pretty sure her eyes were turning green at this point) SORRY! I'M NOT MADE FOR TENTS. NOW GET ME OUT OF THIS TENT! DAD GET ME OUT OF THIS TENT! SOMEBODY HELP ME! DAD GET ME OUTTA HERE! GET.ME.OUT.OF.THIS.TENT!!!! GET ME OUTTA HERE!
DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!

One day of our trip, every one was leaving for various activities. Ryan and his dad were going on a 20 mile bike ride. Everyone else was going on a hike that was much too long for Kirstin. I thought I'd stay back with her and take her on a hike. We hiked to the outhouse and back...100 yards...it was far enough. Then we resumed our seats in the camp chairs and belted out Carpenter's songs into our pen microphones. We sounded good.

The hikers returned mid "I'm on top of the world looking down on creation and the only inspiration I can find..." when Kirstin started to move her free hand in a back and forth motion I can't describe "is the love that I found ever since you been around..." Chris asked her what she was doing with her hand. Without missing a beat and with all seriousness Kirstin replied "Tambourine, Karen Carpenter had a tambourine. (continues singing) Your love puts me at the top of the world." Of course, a tambourine. Why didn't I think of that?

We were playing a dice game when she scored big, or little for that matter, she would say "I'll take my two hundred points, IN CASH."

One last story then I'll put it to rest. Paul was driving to the campsite towing his RV trailer. He was on a dirt road and took a turn, which was very unsafe in Kirstin's opinion, and she said "Heavenly Father, hallowed be thy name. Forgive my father for he knows not what he does." Now, name the movie she was quoting, thank you.

I wish I had stories to share about the trip that didn't invlove Kirstie, but she really was the highlight.

Please know I'm not making fun of my sister-in-law, I love Kirstin with all of my heart. I treasure my time with her. After all, when I'm with her I have someone to sing into a pen microphone with.

Kirstin Garff, incentive to marry into the Garff family.


Ryan and Paul in all their biking glory. Apparently Paul flips the bird at drivers and call them "Jerks" when he's riding.


Ryan...I get butterflies when he's putting the ski on. I just love to watch him.


Chris' silly wetsuit.


Since I poste the picture of his goofy wetsuit, I thought I'd do him a favor and post a picture showing how good he is, even wearing a diaper wetsuit.

Have I ever mentioned how much I love to hang out with Chris and Ryan on the boat? It's just...fun. I'm glad they let me tag along.

Gretchen Carr we wish you were a Movie Star!

Today is my last day of work for the week. Ryan and I are going to spend the long weekend here. We will be camping with Paul and Vi (Ryan's dad and his wife), Kirstin, Eric, Chris and two of his friends Adam who goes by Bruce and his wife Amy, I don't know the latter two people very well. I met them on the 4th, they have a daughter named Stella, they must be pretty cool.

Ryan went to the parade last year so I guess I can go to the lake this year.

Oh how I'll miss you marathon runners, stake floats with the theme "Still Pioneering Together", 1st Baptist Church choir, paper mache Salt Lake Temples, clowns on razor scooters, Costco muffins courtsey of Auntie Kim, marching bands, chants with the Lubbers, "Honk your horn" by Jeff, hoping for a Jazz float then being disappionted when there isn't one.

I hope you'll miss me, too.

I wonder if the retired Dick Norse will be making an appearance?

'Cause ya can can can!

I have the best neighbors a person could ask for. When I get home from work there are often fresh vegetables or fruit waiting for me on my porch. Last week I came home to so many apricots.



I canned them tonight after work.

Liz and Phoebe...Canning is easy, super easy. Buy the Ball Blue Book of Canning and a 21 Quart Waterbath Canner (I got mine at the DI for $3) and start canning. I do suggest buying a can grabber, they make grabbing the hot bottles out of the waterbath so much more pleasant. I also suggest a magnet stick grabber thingie for getting your lids out of the boiling water. You can get a complete starter kit here for about $50. Smith and Edwards also has a great canning selection.

Canning is my way of builing up my food storage. I think I'm going to chicken and beef next month, along with the gazillion tomatoes from my garden.

I admit you are better than I am.

I actually beat Ryan 3 games to 1 last night at racquetball. I could tell he was having off games, missing hits he would normally crush. But I didn't care. Until I noticed something. He was playing left handed. He said he can shoot a basketball just as well with his left hand as he can his right and he should be able to play racquetball just as well as a lefty.

I know he'll keep practicing left handed and eventually he be beating me that way too, but for now, I'll take the win.

Dead Bird.

Last night as I was walking out to water my garden I smelled something. It was the smell of death. You know what I saw on my window sill? A bird. I went to get Ryan, he was on the phone with one of his BFF's so he didn't show much interest. He just said mouthed "It's not dead yet." I plugged my nose and took a closer look. Sure enough, it looked like it was breathing.

Had this happened to my dad, he would've gotten a shoe box and a towel and decide he was going to nurse the dying bird back to health. Do you think that's what I did?

NO. I found a large rock and was going to smash it's head and put it out of it's misery. I put on a leather glove picked up the bird and discovered maggots were all over the underside of the thing. What looked like breathing was maggots moving inside the bird.

Now ask yourself if you think I felt badly that a bird rammed it's head into my window knocked itself out and died.

The answer again is NO. I just know this is one the birds that's eating at my garden.

Serves it right.

(Sorry no picture, I felt a little gruesome taking a photo of a dead bird just to go on and on about how I didn't feel any remorse for the thing.)

No Guts, No Glory

Deron Williams was on the radio last night. He said he's signing his contract today and that he loves Utah, he loves that it's not a big night life here, he loves that he can raise his family here, he loves the scenery. As Ryan was relaying this to me, I started to tear up. Yes, I cried real tears. I'm just so darn happy that Deron Williams is a Jazz man. I've been angry with everyone on the Jazz at least one game, Boozer played like he'd never touched a basketball in the playoffs, Okur, AK47, everyone has upset me at least once. Except Deron Williams.

Here's to you D. Will. I love ya.

Redbox

I was grounded from Redbox for a little while. I rented 3 movies and kept them 7 days. Yesterday I decided to give myself a second chance. I got 2 movies and planned on watching them both last night, turns out I'm not such a night owl. I made it through one then went to bed. I was determined to watch both movies and have them back today by 9. Sounds easy, right? Wrong ping pong. Thursday night was already booked. I was left with only one option.

I woke up this morning and went to the gym, came home and had a protien shake while I watched my movie. Ryan told me that's a productive morning, watching a whole movie before I even have to shower for work. I would say it would've been more productive if I folded laundry while watching. I would actually say it was a little crazy. Watching Fools Gold at 6am?

Matthew McBugsme was annoying as ever.

I think my lipth are thwollen.

I didn't drink nearly enough water on the 4th of July. I didn't realize how badly I was dehydrated until we got back to Chris's house and my lips were "chapped real bad". (Name that movie.) The next day Ryan and I went to Mike and Amy's to help them build their fence. I drank water all day and only went potty once. TMI, I know. I've now been blessed with 6 cold sores. Yes, 6 of them.

My lips are swollen. Chapped and swollen. I was making dinner last night and felt drool on my chin. It's like I've been to the dentist and the anesthesia hasn't worn off yet.



I think I'll get a glass of water right now.

What is it with me and food?

I have a confession. I've hemmed and hawed (I have no idea if that's how you spell hemmed and hawed but I say that all the time.) I've hemmed and hawed about whether or not to blog about this story. Well, I've come to a conclusion. I would rather make people laugh than hold back such a gem of a story, even if I am the object of the laughter.

I was at work a couple of weeks ago and I didn't bring my lunch. I had a protien shake for breakfast at 5:30 in the morning and those things only hold me over for about 2 hours. I was starving. I had the shakes. I couldn't concentrate. I don't like to eat fast food lunches, I don't want to spend the money, I mean they have too many calories. Just as I was contemplating forking out 5 bucks for Wendy's, I saw it. My co-worker had thrown away a bag of Sour Cream and Chives potato chips. She brought some from home in a gallon bag, ate what she wanted and threw the rest away. What was a girl to do? I didn't even hesitate. I snatched that bag right out of the garbage and ate every last crumb.

I guess I can relate to this guy.


I don't regret it.

Wallowing in sorrow.

I've been much too depressed to post anything lately. When my sister and her kids were here visiting, we had such a great day at the lake. I had photos of Jack and Creed wakeboarding, Stella grinning at me in her cavewoman swimsuit wearing Ryan's sunglasses, Creed enjoying a Coke in the back seat of the Yukon after hours of swimming, Jack sporting the sweetest lifejacket known to man, Baby George chillin' on the boat stuffed way up under the nose under the driver seat, a group shot Me, Ryan, Mom, Liz, Jack, Creed, Stella, George, Auntie Kim, and Chris Garff. I accidentally deleted EVERYTHING before I got it downloaded. I've been in mourning. Too depressing to think about. Cannot continue posting.

Couldn't come up with a title.

For the first 6 months of our marriage Ryan and I played Backgammon all the time. We took it pretty seriously. We had a dry erase board hung up in our basement keeping track of the record. I felt like the Boston Celtics. Destined for Championship. At one point in time we (Ryan) decided we shouldn't play anymore. It was bad for our marriage. (He was tired of losing.)

When Ryan and I woke up this morning to head to the gym I asked him the same question I ask him every morning. "Wanna play racquetball for cardio today?" Every time the answer is the same. "No, I'm just gonna stick to my workout." In the beginning I would plead and tell him I'd take it easy on him since he would be a rookie. He would laugh and ignore me. We'd head to the treadmills, run together then separate for the remaining of the work out. Today when I asked him he said okay.

He kicked my trash all three games. At one point in time he warned me he wouldn't keep playing with me if I kept up my fits. There was no racquet throwing, just ball throwing, which is much more sportsmanlike. Like I really thought I had a chance of beating Ryan at racquetball. He could play one handed and still beat me.

At least I've got Backgammon.

Is $1.70 worth your eternal salvation?

I don't know why I let it bother me so much when I see people with water cups at restaurants and filling them up with pop. Is it any of my business that they don't mind teaching their children that it's okay to steal? No. Then, why do I stare so angrily at them as I wait my turn at the fountain for the Diet Coke while a family fills up 5 water cups with DC? I bet these are the same people who pass traffic in the shoulder because it's at a dead stop because of construction. Or the same people who make right hand turns from the center straight only lane because there are too many cars waiting patiently to turn from the proper lane and their time is much to valuable to wait for their turn (I'm pretty sure I'll get in a wreck one of these days because I have to deal with this EVERYDAY after work and I purposely make REALLY wide turns into the center lane to teach those buggers a lesson. Turning left from the center lane. Geez.) Or the same people who blog at work while they are getting paid to work. Oops.

At least I don't steal pop from Cafe Rio.

I wanna be like LS.

Yesterday my neglect became an emergency. At 10:30pm someone made an hour and a half drive to help me out, in a fun convertible Ford Mustang by the by. I know it put her out but she smiled and laughed the whole time. In fact, she made me feel like I was doing her a favor. LS, you are a true disciple of Christ and I love you.

Enter at your own risk.

Warning:this entry may contain some inappropiate material. Read the story if you think you can handle it. If not, scroll down to see the swimsuit I purchased today.
Ryan and I spend a lot of time on the boat. In fact we just had a great Monday, more details on that to come. Anyhoo, we spend A LOT of time on the boat. Last summer we were out with Ryan's little brother Chris and some of his buddies. We got a call from Eric and Kim (Ryan's older brother and his wife who rarely make appearances at the lake) that they were on their way up. We wanted them to have a good time so the boys dropped me and one of Chris' friends...his name is Levi and he'd been off his mission for about 6 months...off on shore so we could pump up the tube for the kiddies. We couldn't find the air compressor and were forced to use the hand pump. I hope you're following. As I was pumping, I glanced down at my swimsuit to notice I had a "wardrobe malfunction". I was so embarassed, I looked at Levi and he was over by the lake skipping rocks. I corrected the problem and kept pumping. Much more carefully now, but there was another malfunction, not nearly to the degree as the first, and Levi appeared out of thin air and said "One pops out as another one comes in." I looked at him, tears welling up in my eyes from embarassment, and realized he was talking about one boat pulling out of the lake as another one drops in. He wasn't even looking at me. I've always been embarassed of swimsuits, I know they show too much cleavage. Today I bought a new swimsuit and I hope I will no longer look obscene on the lake.

Things that make me happy.

I know this is a very generic entry, but it's better than nothing, right? Right?

1. Books on CD. My car doesn't have an antenna and I hate driving in silence.
2. My Honda. It hit 200,000 miles yesterday. Other than the fact that it has no a/c and violently shakes to the point I feel my nose hairs tickling between the speeds of 61-74 I absolutely love my car.
3. Having my sissie and mom in the same state as me.
4. The garbage fairy that takes the trash out. (I'm pretty sure the garbage fairy has the same appreciation for the laundry fairy.)
5. Being able to go to Primary on Sundays. Nothing against Sunday School or Relief Society I just love those darn kids.
6. My husband who happily hangs up and assembles all my crap from the crap stores (Tai Pan and Ikea) at 9:00 at night without complaining.
7. Fresh sheets. I love washing my sheets, I do it 2-3 times a week.
8. Diet Coke. Enough said.
9. Going to see a movie at the movie house. The previews are my favorite part.
10. Ice cream. I haven't had any for a long time, I even made some homemade strawberry recently and it was gone before I was in the mood, I really love ice cream. Maybe ma' hubby will take me to Nielsen's today.
11. Making a good meal. Please don't put ketchup on potatoes that I make, it's just offensive. Okay, you can put ketchup on your potatoes if that's your preference.
12. Living in Utah. I've lived on the beach in Huntington Beach, CA and I much prefer Utah. Maybe that's just because I live with the love of my life. I could live in Nowhere, USA and love it as long as it was with him.
13. Cell phones. I know we don't really NEED them, but they sure make things convenient. I wish my sister had one so I could find her whenever I want. I don't care if she doesn't want to be available 24/7.
14. Make up. When Ryan watches me apply it he says "You've covered your face to make it all one color and now you're putting something on your cheeks to add color. That's nonsense." Yes, it is nonsense. I love it.
15. Is anyone still reading this?
16. Singing along with Sinead O'Connor with ma' hubby in the kitchen.
17. Playing games. Card games, board games, just not video games. It's especially fun when I beat Ryan. We often make people uncomfortable when we play with them.
18. Watching Jack, Creed, and Stella do stuff. It doesn't matter what they're doing. I just love to watch them. George is fun too.
19. Reading the classifieds on KSL. The wedding dresses are my favorite.
20. Online shopping and filling my cart with hundreds of dollars of items then not buying anything.

2001 Yukon for sale

In case one of the 5 readers of this blog is shopping for a 2001 GMC Yukon XL we are selling ours. Check it out here.

Who knew?

It turns out the first friday of June is National Donut Day. Krispy Kreme is giving away free bits of deliciousness today. Go pick one up, I know I will.

Pullin' Together

I love going to plays. For a Christmas gift to Ryan I bought him tickets to see Les Miserables(He loves that music, we listen to it to/from Lake Powell and all the Garff boys sing along.). He didn't end up going with me, I took my cousin. Wicked is coming to Salt Lake. Ryan said he could take it or leave it. We had a down day on our trip to Upper State New York, I tried to convince Ryan to drive to Manhattan and we could see a Broadway play. I've seen six plays on Broadway and that's not nearly enough. He didn't want to do that at all. We ended up driving to a nearby lake to check that out.

Yesterday I was working in the garden and Ryan was working on the sprinklers and here's our conversation.

Ryan: Hey, wanna go to see Saturday's Warrior?
Me:(pause) What did you say?
Ryan: Never mind.
Me: I thought you said you wanted to go see Saturday's Warrior.
Ryan: I did.
Me: (singing loudly) Jimmy oh Jimmy don't listen to them. How can you think they're your friends?
Ryan: So...wanna go?
Me: Okay.

Hey, it's not Wicked, but it's a start.

Preventative Maintenance

Let's just say you get home from work and walk over to the sink and turn on the faucet (to do the dishes from dinner the night before) and get nothing. You then go find your husband to tell him the waters off and he's pulling a city water bill out of the filing cabinet and asks you "Where's the phone. It's not on the charger?!"
"Hey Ryan, did you know the water's off?" "Now is not the time to ask me questions, Peaches." Let's just say your husband then disappears. If that were to happen to me, I would start investigating. Holes, lots of holes in the backyard. Looks like someone was working on the sprinklers. Ah hah, a broken sprinkler pipe. And what's this? The husband is talking to Don Dial, our wonderful neighbor who knows a lot and has done even more. Hmmm. The next thing I know, there's an even bigger hole in the front yard...we're talking 4 feet deep.

Now, we have a lot of kids on our street and not much excitement happens on Lynwood so when someone is digging a 4 foot hole the kiddies are going to want to hang around to see what's going on. And that's just they did, if this would have really happened last night, which it didn't. I now have an excuse to hang around too, ya' know, to make sure the little ones don't get in ma' hubby's way while he's working. Turns out, Ryan cut through a pipe fixing the sprinklers, turned the water off to fix the pipe, and 20 mins later noticed an even bigger leak at our main water source. He gets the valve off, and while he's down there he may as well replace the old parts with new ones. Those elbow buggers didn't want to come off. There was a chain, 3 wrenches, rebar, multiple small pipes, a sledgehammer, and a car jack involved. But yes, the elbow came off. After a trip to Lowes, Home Depot, then back to Lowes, 17 man hours, a homemade pizza (my contribution) and working until 11:30pm, the new valve did the same thing the old one was doing.

Lesson learned...if you turn off your water and there's water coming out at a very high pressure from the main main valve, that valve has a pressure release that will release all the water in the pipes. Oh and P.S. the new valve was put on backwards. I'm sure that will be fixed in a jiffy today.

This really would've sucked if it would've really happened yesterday. Thank goodness it didn't.

What's in a name?

My dad calls me "two mules". In the 6th grade I was called "Ostrich girl". Andrew VonNeiderhausern dubbed me "bubble head". As of lately my brother-in-law, Chris, calls me Sar-Bear. Usually it's out of annoyance when I'm having problems getting up on the ski, "Come on Sar-Bear, that grip's not going to {blankety blank} cut it!" Then there's the names Ryan calls me, Princess, Camper, Wife, Peaches and my favorite Sport.

I'm curious about others' nicknames. Does anyone have a nickname that has lasted throught the years or possibly from their spouse they'd be willing to divulge? I'd love to hear them.



Pictured above is Two Mules and her sister. Liz, feel free to tell us the nickname dad gave you when you were a baby. It's a good one.

What to say?

I'm at a real loss of what to post right now. I could talk about the new Yoga DVD and Yoga mat I bought yesterday right along with my Ben & Jerry's and cinnamon rolls. I could talk about my aunt and uncle being sealed today and how excited I am to go to that, even if it is for the sole purpose that I get to leave work 3 hours early for it. I could talk about the Jazz. I could talk about how utterly ecstatic I am that Ryan will be home in three days.

Instead I'll just post this picture.

When we were kids living at the village we would play "toss people up high in blankets". I'm sure it had some creative name but I don't remember it. My dad is scanning slides onto the computer. I love it when he does that because then I get random emails of old pictures, like this one.

You might think this picture is of the same game, but it's actually the day I had to jump from the third story of a burning apartment.


Just kidding.

What am I going to do with all this ham fried rice?

I've done quite well on my list of things to accomplish while Ryan is away. I thought to reward myself I would get chinese take-out and enjoy, hopefully enjoy and not endure 48 minutes of pure agony, the Jazz game. I'm watching pre-game and Big T looks great in his red vest. Now, what was the point of my post? Oh, my take-out. I was talking to someone at work whose opinion I trust when it comes to food, he loves The Mandrin and Little World, he referred me to a particular Chinese restaraunt in Ogden and told me which dishes to try...beef and brocolli, szechwan chicken, and peking rice which is ham fried with shrimp instea of ham. All day I was drooling over the thought of my Szechwan Chicken I would be eating later.

After work I arrived at the restaraunt, ordered the chicken and beef and I wanted to substitute peking rice for the ham fried that came with both dishes. Of course I would've paid extra. For some reason the guy taking my order and I weren't communicating very well, I accept full responsibility. After a confusing order I had spent $26 and had enough food coming my way to feed myself, my husband, my sister and her family, and all of you. I realized the horror of my situation, I panicked. {I do that pretty often and make rash decisions.} Instead of removing some of the dishes, I had him add 3 eggrolls so he wouldn't think all the food was for me. I handed over all my cash, sat down and pretended to call home to report I'd be there in 20 minutes.

I have a serious problem.

I hope I have hungry neighbors.

I know this picture has nothing to with the post but I'm a firm believer that all posts needs pictures and to introduce you to my sister-in-law Kirstin.

Jergens Natural Glow

Ryan always gets up earlier than me. He pokes, tickles, whispers sweet nothings in my ear, all attempting to get me up with him. One morning, I threw the blankets off myslef and he shielded his eyes with his hands and pretented to be going blind because of my white legs, it was an Oscar winning performance. I decided I wanted to have a tan when he came home from his tour of duty. I went to the Wall Marts and bought Jergens Natural Glow Firming Daily Moisturizer. I must say I'm a believer. It's not the over powering smell that other tan in a can products have {there is a smell but not the kind that keeps you awake at night} and since it's a gradual change I don't worry so much about streaks or crazy tan ankles and knees. I told Ryan I was using it and he said it sounds unhealthy, what a goofball.

On a side note, someone I may work with who shall remane nameless may have brought a CD player into work and might be playing CD's of piano music with the sounds of birds and the ocean in the background and the unnamed person may be humming along in her soprano hum. You know what I'm talking about, the token soprano in the ward choir who you can hear above everybody else. That's her.



I guess I'll just sit here and sniff my arm and ignore those squaking hummingbirds.

UGH!

I went over to my neighbor's house to watch the Jazz game tonight. This couple is in their 80's and huge Jazz fans. They called and invited me over for "a dish of ice cream and to watch the ball game". The two of them yelled 4 letter words at the tv all night long. I heard SOB so many times.

Here's my take on the Jazz. If they would only play in the first half like they do the last half they would have a chance. They show up scared and then decide they want to play when it's too late. I hate Kobe Bryant. I hate Phil Jackson. I even dare say I hate D. Fisher. I know he's a former Jazzman, but I still hate him. I hate Jack Nicholson too. I don't
want to be a fan that complains about the refs all the time, but I hate them too. Jerry Sloan said in an interview tonight "If we put a hand on them we're called for a foul." Makes it tough to play 5 on 7.

I'm sorry for such a boring post, I'm venting. Ryan likes to watch Jazz games with the tv on and the laptop on the utah jazz web page so he can follow the play by play stats. He loves stats, he even figures the stats on card and dice games we play. I had a picture but I can't seem to find it now.

What I wouldn't give to have this guy back right now,


LET'S GO JAZZ!!!!

Speaking of feet

Mine stink. I was always the person in the room that had stinky feet. Everyone would be looking around trying to figure out who the culprit was. I can't wear plastic shoes. My mom bought me a pair of oh so popular jelly shoes in the 80's and they were my worst enemy. I still remember her sniffing all around the house to find that dead mouse carcass that she was sure was polluting the air. Imagine my horror when she stopped at my feet. What a loser. I don't know why my feet stink already this morning. I showered and I did wash my feet, twice. But I don't touch my feet, I scrub them with my loofah and antibacterial soap. I really don't like to touch my feet. I don't like to scratch the palms of my hands either. If they itch I scratch them with my teeth.

I must need new shoes.

Something to be thankful for today.

That we're not this woman, or any other poor soul that has had to bind their feet for fashion.
{Thanks for the email Danielle.}

Reality Bites

Things I will be doing while Ryan is at guard for the next two weeks...
1. Deep clean both bathrooms
2. Clean out fridge
3. Dust entire house (first time since I've lived there)
4. Clean out and organize cupboards in kitchen
5. Weed front yard, prepare for planting flowers
6. Weed back yard, prepare for planting vegetable garden
7. Continue a.m. workouts don't allow self to plan work out in pm, we both know pm workouts don't happen for me
8. Plan meals i.e. no take-out

Things I want to be doing while Ryan is at guard for the next two weeks...
1. Fly to Iowa and meet George
2. Watch all the tv shows I never watch but really want to.
3. Fly to Iowa and try to convince Stella to sing me songs
4. eat Cafe Rio at least 3 times
5. Fly to Iowa and play basketball with Jack
6. Go see a movie in the theatre with popcorn and a diet coke
7. Fly to Iowa and play catch with Creed (I promise not hit you with the ball)